Yes! No! Maybe! Oh... Fuck it.

So it's on, then it's off, then maybe, then probably not, then it's 'Hell yes', then it's 'I think not'. Seriously, this Andrei Arshavin business has become a practice eerily similiar to my (admittedly rare) experiences of dating women. Yes, I have, in fact, done such a thing, in my youth, don't act shocked. It's tediously ambiguous behaviour shrouded in vague statements, misleading remarks and gross misunderstandings that are then spoken of at loud volume to looks of horror (or at least regret) by one or both parties involved. Fucking mental, it is.

I watched a bit of Sky Sports News earlier and learnt quite descriptively that he, Andrei Arshavin, had grabbed hold of his pair and coughed for the know-it-alls at Arsenal's training facility. All was deemed well enough, so it was that Arshavin was now a Gunner, once and for all. I was pleased though I haven't been a big fan of this daily 'he said, he said, they said' coyness being played out by all sides. I honestly didn't give a shit if he joined or not. However, upon hearing that he basically had, well... I have to admit, I was a bit chuffed.

Well, within minutes the news came through that the deal was suddenly off. Ha! I shoulda known. I should have recognized that move from that one time I wasted money and time with an 'actress' named Dawn. Yeah, it was the same move. Believe me.

There's a certain sticking point... Well, I don't mean to be so descriptive as to seem blatantly obscene, but come fucking on! Get on with it! Enough teasing! Apparently Zenit want money out of Arshavin. What?! Yeah... HE has to pay to get out of his deal or maybe because Arsenal doesn't fancy paying a certain amount or something of that nature. And wouldn't I have loved to have that option with Dawnie?

Well, regardless, I'm gonna have a go at Arshavin just because... well... because I can't find a picture of the Zenit St Petersburg board.


Ok, so I hope one of Andrei's terms isn't the insistence on having the number 10 shirt. Bloody fucking hell... that particular piece of clothing only belongs to William Gallas, doesn't it?!

So it just brings to mind a serious contemplation- I wonder if perhaps borrowing someone else's knickers woulda led that Dawn to perform any better or...

Yeah, as you can tell, I'm having a mare of a day.